Nadya's Mind "Collection" as same as me

I'm gonna miss this couch I'm sitting on...

not because it's comfy

It's has your smell

oh my God, I have to stop crying 

I've been trying to make peace with this reallity for a while now

It's not easy

I'm not expacting leaving you would be an easy pull

That explains why I have to do this

while you're sleeping

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I'm scared 

I went crazy everytime my phone rang with your name on it

I switched off my phone last night 

I can't take it anymore

Can I please switch off myself?

This smile mask I put on everyday 

can't I hide the fact that I'm heartsick

Even sometimes I think I love as a disease

and I got one eating me....

Me and you are meant to be together,

and I have to ler you go because of this stupid reason????!

life it's not fair.....I can't breath!

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The more I think about it

the more I understand this life

Or maybe I'm just pretending to understand this life,

in reaction of saving myself from myself

so I don't get hurt

Whatever that is, it keeps me sane....

and I'm gonna keep doing this

until the time I can be yours again

Only God knowa how long....i will wait

I miss you so...........

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It's been 3 months, I've been worst

and old saying " if you love someone, set 'am free"

I used to think it's a stupid thing to do 

Well I still think so

If I'm in love with this someone 

I'm gonna do everything 

and I really mean everything to make  him happy

*deep sigh*....

but i can never make you mine

at least for now

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Everyday, my head is a 24 hours cinema

constantly playing movies of the past

They're killing me

They're keeping me alive

at the same time...

sometimes they drive me crazy

sometimes they're not...

They have benn a very good friend of mine

better that my "so called friends" a.k.a 

"they who don't understand me" a.k.a

" the who keep telling me what to do"

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Do you know how much I hate your feelings?

all of them...

Do you know how much I love your feelings?

all of them....

I'm sorry I pretended like I don't care

I was listening from everywhere, everytime

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I thought tonight will be the ultimate champion

for the most boring night ever

since now you're gone

But, one second thought 

I'm guess I'm enjoying this moment

write me a note...will ya

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Here I'm alone......

talking to my shadow...

I hate the time so much........

I know I'm the one with "leaving you super smart decision"

Now, I feel like it consumes you everyday 

and I'm the one who fall and left behind

I wish you're here with me

I know your're still mine

I want you back....

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It's been 2 months since she left me...

I'm getting used to it....

losing her

funny thing is, I dont feel a thing

Do I have this thing called heart?

Am being heartless?

What a selfish human being I'm about to become

sometimes I still wish she's here with me

I know she still cares me

But hey, I have a life to catch

I can't wait forever.......